How DO I fix myself?

This should make me so rich…….(only joking)…..how do I fix myself is the age old questions. Most psychologists would like to keep you in therapy for a few years, giving out the idea that somebody else can fix you. And to a degree they can unlock your inner resources. But you need to do the fixing – because you’re not broken, you’re just a SatNav with the wrong map.

The easiest thing if you’re asking how do I fix myself, is to pick up from the last post and write who you are that you believe is broken and who you’re not. You’re not your thoughts, memories, programmes, emotions, experiences, beliefs or behaviours. All of these we have built up over years of repetition – or in some case unconsciously programmed following a traumatic event, a remark or action by a significant being in our lives, and most before we are 10 yrs old, some insist younger.

The real you is the space between all of that – the gaps if you will….
Well, how come the gaps don’t get depression?

Because that you (the space between you) is aligned to your true self (source), the Tao, your Buddha nature, and is no mind. What most humans do is use their minds to make meaning (and judgements) out of every experience – and that is what usually gets us in trouble. No judgements, no expectations, no meaning, no attachments = no suffering (or very little).
Well then, how do I get to that part of me?

Buddhist, Taoist, and Law of Attraction Lesson 1: If you want to be your true authentic self, and enjoy all the abundance the universe has to offer, you have to let everything go, apart from the belief that you have everything you need (more later) or the resources to get them. And develop faith.
What did you say?

Let everything go…
More specifically….?

How to let everything go…

If you want to start feeling happier about where you are and where you’re going, you have to start understanding Non-Attachment. Once you have that, begin to cultivate the belief, which becomes a faith, that everything will turn out well for you. Some find if they follow certain practices, which includes doing your best to feel good about everything, things get better. Crap and bliss are on opposite ends of the same stick, the opposing sides of a coin. We are prisoners to our attachments. The more we have, the more we have to lose. Or, the more we don’t have, the more we envy those that do have. Whichever – it’s not good for us and history shows it leads to much suffering.

Do I need to sell the Audi A6?
Does it make you feel good?

Certainly does…..
Then definitely not….

You want to let go of the belief that you NEED the Audi to be happy. You’ve got one – it makes you happy. Move on – don’t covet it, enjoy it. As long as you know that buying another one will not make you twice as happy, you’re on the right track. People truly believe the more they have, the happier they’ll be. It’s the beliefs around what you need for happiness (people and things) and how you feel about your possessions (your STUFF), and perhaps about a form of spirituality that doesn’t serve you anymore – well, if not, let it go. Also, you need to let go of the ideas you have about yourself, “I’m the sort of person that does this….or…that”. Let it go. Let go of your expectations, your judgements about everything, your prejudices, and stop complaining. You need to surrender to the power of the Divine inside you and understand that it also needs nurturing and compassion at times. And you need to let go of the belief that no matter what you do you cannot change, and life isn’t meant to be easy. Put it this way; if you dropped all your beliefs, judgements, expectations, prejudices, and attachments at this very instant, there’s an odds-on chance you’d be close to or at enlightenment. Yes?
Maybe……but what you’re really good at is psychobabble. In plain language, what does it mean?

It means, in Anthony Robbins words, “The only thing that stops you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it.” (or never get it) You make your world happen, no-one else.

Your Story

And in one sense Tony’s right. You can buy, drink, smoke, inject, beat, fornicate all you want but you’ll only have to do it all over again because you mistakenly think that these are the things that bring you happiness (or as the Law of Attraction says, feel better for the having of it). Unfortunately, as you’ve no doubt worked out, you were/are wrong. These things you’ve used to distract you from how bad you feel don’t work – and you may have finally worked out, when you wake up again, it starts all over – like an emotional hamster wheel. So, you look for another sexual conquest, another fix, another argument, or whatever. It’s the letting go of that whole story about who you are and what you need that will start the ball rolling.

What story?
The story you keep telling yourself about how unhappy or not good enough you are.

Okay, go easy, and after that?
Choosing a practice or set of practices to follow that will lead you to thoughts that will create a consistently happier, non-dependent state. Go to a few meetings of something that interests you, listen to some inspirational podcasts, anything. Basically, find what resonates with YOU, but just start. NOW. I know, for example, if you started chanting and meditating you’d start to feel better immediately. Also praying…….

PRAYING???!!!

Look, you’ve spent X years hoping this ‘thing’ you’ve got will go away and you’ll wake up and not want to puff/drink/shoot/shout/cry/eat anymore……and it hasn’t worked out. Turn it over to the more powerful part of you.

It’s been a successful technique for a few thousand years and it’s a good way to test this whole spiritual business out. If you pray for something to your idea of a greater power (Fill in the gap – God, Guardian Angel, Buddha, Ascended Masters, Ganesha…….), and have complete faith that in their own divine time they will deliver (a must do stage), as well as give permission (they respect your free will) the Law of Attraction says you’ll have far greater chance of getting it (certainty) than if you spent every waking minute feeling bad about not having it – like you do now. You are simply attracting the absence of it, which is what you are vibrationally transmitting to the universe. This is what happens in Nichiren Buddhism – we chant to the Gohonzon knowing that countless Buddhas will hear our call for help and we chant knowing that our call will be answered and acted on. We believe it with all our hearts. Buddhists who chant yet doubt that their prayers can be answered are sending out mixed transmissions – “calling all Buddhas, you can’t help me but I’ll tell you my problem again.” It’s never gonna happen (as they say in the films.)

So, what have you got to lose?
My mind?

You’ve already done some of that when you started believing you were unworthy.

Is it time you realised that at the moment, and for as long as the problem has been around, you haven’t yet been able to tap into the resources to overcome that challenge? And, if you believe that you are a part of a single consciousness, you are certainly well enough connected to turn the problem over to the greater part of you – your Buddhahood, your Source Energy, the Tao, the Divine Creator – or all of them and more!

Ok, I get all that, so what do I do now?

Start – do something. Join a group, start to clean up your language (negative words yield negative programmes – never complain, judge or criticize), listen to podcasts, Youtube – but good stuff, words that make you ring with joy. Re-programme! Listen to Ekhart Tolle, Esther Hicks, Thich Nhat Hanh, Daiseku Ikeda, Deepak Chopra, Dr Joe Dispenza, Richard Causton, Wayne Dwyer, Marianne Williamson and many more. Start some spiritual practice – even if it’s lighting some incense and praying to the Buddhas, or your Guardian Angel or any being you believe has a greater power than you, and if you don’t believe in non-physical beings, then you’ll have to pray to the greater part of you (oh, that’s non-physical as well), or your soul (oh, that too) and ask it to gather up a few non-physicals to help you get onto the path you want to head in – and can I add, if you find yourself on your knees with a candle and incense, praying to your greater self, you’ve come a long, long way.

I can say without any doubt whatsoever, I have briefly experienced my Guardian Angel, my Buddhahood, the Tao (and I’m patiently working on getting back there…)

I don’t like to be blunt, but if you are suffering with emotional pain it is simple – you are God/Goddess and you’ve lost your way. Your insides know it that’s why you have that fear-launching buzzing in your upper chest and stomach (or wherever you get it). I know you may be hurting like hell, but you really need to stop farting about with your excuses and get on with getting back on course or this pain will continue until you’re dead – if that’s what you want….

Look, you’ve done the suffering, that’s good because you know exactly what you don’t want – anything but that, so do what you have to do to keep it in some form of balance (you’ll always have something pop up.)

“A Calm Sea Never Made a Skilful Mariner” Anon

In all of this be kind to yourself. How do I fix myself could be, how do I love myself, or, how do I forgive myself. Never criticize yourself, never judge yourself or others – always be grateful for every kindness, from the food industry that ultimately puts food on our tables, to the little kindnesses people show towards each other. There’s a beauty and majesty inside us all because we commune with the heavens, but that side of you won’t be revealed while you keep complaining about not being able to have a dog when you were 6 (or similar……..or a lot worse.). Also, everyone is having there own battles – everyone could be on a how do I fix myself crusade……be kind, its better than being right.

Cont….